HALLELUKA: Luka Clinches All-NBA 1st team. 4th in 5 years

[SleepingHero]

So guys, let me try to lighten up the mood with some ethnic jokes from ex Yugoslavia. I am sure other potential ex Yugoslavs here will not be offended. The country was a union of 6 main nations (Serbia, Slovenia, Croatia, Bosnia, Macedonia and Montenegro) and lots of other minorities, which are separate countries mostly since 1990. Each of the main nations have some good qualities and some bad ones. Slovenians (I am also Slovenian, born in Yugoslavia) are considered as hardworking but sort of "pussies". Bosnians know how to fix everything, but they are considered stupid (in a having bad grades in school sense - they are "street smart" though). Croatians (more exactly Hercegovci, part of Croatia and Bosnia) get in fights all the time, Serbs are proud to an extent that it hurts them and Montenegroes are lazy on legendary levels. There are endless jokes about those nations based on the national characteristics. Well, not a lot of jokes about Slovenians, because we are also a bit boring besides being pussies  

Our languages are very similar, with Slovenian being slightly different. Serbs were of course too proud to speak it, Bosnians too stupid to learn it and Montenegroes too lazy. So there was no choice but hardworking Slovenian pussies to speak Serbo-Croatian so that everybody understood eachother. 

There was once a Montenegro guy, let's call him Jovan, sitting on a bench and a snail was slowly passing by. Jovan was watching him, and the snail really took his time, passing by in some two hours. Jovan stared at emtpy space for another half an hour and then slowly said - wow, he flew by as a bullet. Jovan once worked in Slovenia and stole a spoon and brought it home to Montenegro with him. Father told him to immediately take it back, because it is a shovel seed. 

There was once a legendary 100 m race, with participants from Croatia (Hercegovina), Bosnia and Montenegro. Unfortunatelly there was no winner, because the Croat got in a fight with audience, Montenegro guy decided 50 meters is enough and Bosnian got lost.

Wifes of Slovenian, Bosnian and Montenegro husbands are discussing where do they hide money, so their husbands don't find it and use it for booze (one thing we have in common, we are all heavy drinkers). Montenegro wife naturally hides money under the shovel. Bosnian wife hides money in a book, no way he would look there. Slovenian wife puts it on a table and says - take it if you dare (of course we don't).

I just wanted to say I really enjoyed these jokes. I am in no way from eastern Europe (father and mother are south-African, I'm born in America), but seeing all these regional jokes really made me laugh very hard even though I have no exposure to all of the cultures haha! Thanks for sharing them.